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Atalya's Anxiety

Hi, I’m Tal (short for Atalya), the newest member of FRAHM.

I’m Bath born & raised. I started a few weeks ago as FRAHM’s first full time member of staff - helping Nick in marketing…. Which means Nick lets me mess around with his beloved piccies and writing and stuff. That’s a big deal for him, he’s so exacting about everything. FRAHM is his baby, it’s hard for him to let go. But he is, phew. A bit.

So, behold, a blog that isn’t written by His Royal Husseyness.

Besides introducing myself, I wanted to use this space to openly talk about the subject of change and my struggle with it as an anxiety sufferer - especially this big move - changing jobs. Whether you deal with it well or not, change is something everyone experiences and everyone can relate to, one way or another. I find it hard.

Prior to FRAHM, I worked long, gruelling hours in the hospitality sector. So when I got offered the job, apart from this using my brain & abilities far better, it was a no-brainer. Who wants to work 6 days in a row, never have weekends off and leave work at 11.30pm? Not me. Noooo.

Despite beaming on the outside at being given this amazing opportunity, this triggered immense feelings of anxiety which go beyond plain old nervousness. From my experience as a long term anxiety sufferer, change evokes fear of failure and a lot of negative self-talk. 

I felt grateful and excited at the opportunity to kick-start my career I really believe in, but also sick to my stomach with dread that I wouldn’t be good enough.

Unfortunately a big part of suffering from anxiety is the comfort that feeling safe provides, which can make change overwhelming. The danger is you run from the things that are good for you. I felt very safe in my not-great old job, despite it being far from a long-term option, purely because I’d been doing it for ages. Comfort in the known.

Whilst there’s no remedy or quick fix, I tried to reframe my thoughts: ‘hang on a minute, if they didn’t think I had the potential they wouldn’t have hired me’ and ‘I haven’t even given myself a chance yet - I haven’t even started!’. I’ve had cognitive behavioural therapy to combat this. CBT has helped lots.

Progress is impossible without change and the only thing in life that’s constant is things are always changing. I try not to let fear of change trap you into a life that you don’t want, because life’s too short. You are, as the ads say *adopts new-age West Coast American accent* worth it.

For me, change is tough, and, so far, beautiful!

Take care & see you around,

Tal.

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