Checking in on Father's Day
For some, Father’s Day is a high point in the calendar - a day dedicated to goofing around with the kids, eating good food and having your every whim pandered to. Others blank it out entirely, finding the day too painful to acknowledge for one reason or another. And a fair few regard Father’s Day with a bittersweet taste in their mouths - enthusiastic for the future, apprehensive for the past, or vice versa. It’s a day charged with emotion, no matter which way you slice it.
Our motto - perhaps even ethos, if we’re feeling grandiose - is ‘Tough, Beautiful’. We’re not interested in presenting an airbrushed, manicured version of real life. We’re not about wallowing in the misery of it either. Our aim is - alongside making superb jackets- to reconcile the two, the toughness and the beauty.
In this spirit, we had Nick reach out to FRAHM customers to gauge their feelings toward Father’s Day. We thought it’d be pleasant, perhaps even consoling, to present them on our blog. Here’s what Nick had to say on the topic…
And here’s what some of you responded with…
Steve:
“I lost my dad during Covid, he was 89, so always felt he had ‘good innings’. We were never really close, but he was older, he had me at 50! Can you imagine!! 😴
I’m dad to 2 boys, 10 and 6, and love it. Some people have aspirations to run a business, have great careers, achieve, mine was always, since I was late teens, to be a dad, and to try my best at that. And I love it. They can be little shits, but man, they are funny! Some of my other achievements (1st in my family to earn a degree, trek to Everest base camp) had them in the back of my head. Part of the reason I did them was to show my boys to dream and not let people tell you what you can and can’t do. I want to inspire them…unfortunately I think they’d prefer take advice from some YouTuber playing Fortnite 😂
As for Fathers Day, I think it’ll mean more to me as they get older and I see less of them. Everyday (even the ones where they do my head in) are a blessing.”
Phillip:
“I love being a dad. I hadn’t got a clue how to be a dad, but soon learnt and was taught a lot by my late dad, who died last year aged 82.
My dad had a stroke 7 years before he died and was bedridden - basically he could only use his left arm, smile or mumble/grumble! I saw him virtually every week whilst he was in the care home.
I didn’t see much of my dad when I was growing up as his job was driving articulated lorry’s out to the Middle East from 1975 - 1990 ish. I got to go on a trip with him once for four months - out to Saudi Arabian and back across the whole of North Africa, then up through Europe and home - that trip changed my life. It taught me a lot about humanity and helping others. And it also led me to choose to be self employed so I could spend as much time with my kids when they were growing up - taking them to and from school, attending sports days, the hilarious Christmas playsand taking holidays without asking a ‘boss’ if I could go. And the summer holidays were a blast…loads of fun because it was all about the fun with the kids.
My daughter is now 30 and getting married this year, my boys are 26 and 23, so now we have fun in pubs!
The obligatory Father’s Day presents have changed over the years. For the last few years it’s been Malbec and dark chocolate, which is fine by me. However, I am happy just to have them all together for a few hours on Fathers Day, then that’s me happy.”
Paulo:
“As a business founder I love following Nick on Linkedin. There's always plenty that resonates. I'm also the proud owner of two of your jackets!
Tough/beautiful really strikes a chord with me as I experience fatherhood as a set of polar opposites.
One minute I'm expected to be all alpha male, earning money, doing DIY - the next I'm cooking, ironing and supporting my wife and two teenage girls. I'll happily do both but the really hard bit is switching between the roles. What do I prioritise? How do I support my wife to be a professional and an equal? How do I give my business the attention it desperately needs and be there for the kids? How do I switch off from work and give my full focus at home? It feels like a constant stream of paradoxes that can't align.
Father's Day itself is bittersweet. I lost my father when I was 28 and never even met my grandfather. He died when my dad was also in his 20s. It's usually a day of fry ups and roast lunches made by my teenage daughters. All very nice but part of me thinks I'd rather be up a mountain somewhere on my bike getting some perspective...
Hope that's not too intense?!”
Thank you to everyone who reached out with their stories. It being Mens Health Awareness Week (find out more here), we thought we’d reiterate our partnership with CALM for those that might not know. Real life is incredibly tough, there’s no sugarcoating that, but you don’t have to go it alone - talking saves lives.
So if you’re struggling today, please talk to CALM. Their free helpline and webchat is open every day from 5pm ‘till midnight, where you can chat to a trained member of staff who’ll listen, inform and signpost.
